My Relationship with My Supervisor: More Childlike!!

It’s been over three years that I have been associated with my supervisor and how much ever I do not wish to admit, I cannot be denying that the happiness and positivity of my life presently depends upon my supervisor.

I remember, at the end of my first year at my PhD when I got my registration through, after having got grilled from the committee, I thought there was no need to be scared from the supervisor any more. I had got that confidence largely because of the encouragement and boosting I had got from the committee members during my proposal presentation. I had got the confidence in my abilities rebuilt. The entire year it had got damaged and deteriorated by the continuous comments that “My work is not good enough”. It took time to actually understand and match pace with my supervisor’s expectations. The vicious led to building up of more frustrations and more misunderstandings. All this got rectified and removed after the presentations, as I mentioned. But that wasn’t to last long.

Two more years after that, here I am at the same pedestal from where I began. I am still craving the nod of my supervisor. Each time I get a positive response from her, I have the happiness flowing into my life. Last week when she like the literature review I had sent to her, it brought a stream of happiness in my life and made me feel elated about it for the entire day. Upon introspection I felt, that I shared a more childlike relationship with her rather than a mature adult to adult relationship. Sometimes I do wonder if this is normal in other scholar supervisor relationships as well or my case is more exceptional. I am sure for those who have a more adult to adult relationship with their supervisor; they are not dependant on their approval to stay happy and positive. What say you?

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